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After more than six months in and out of hospitals my dad is finally starting to get back to life.  He is still unable to work and can barely move around, but I’m starting to see a bit of spirit in him.  They came into town this weekend to visit and do a few things.  After several near death experiences it seems his priority is now to spend his remaining time with family.  Its not something I can really relate to as I never want to spend time with family. 

The car I bought from him suffered an I’ll fate.  I’m pretty sure I mentioned it here before.  Investigating the problem further, it turns out the wheel bearing had busted apart inside the hub.  Probably as a result of bieng overtightened.  Seems to be a simple fix at first glance.  A wheel bearing and some grease might cost fifteen bucks.  However the bearing failure happened on the highway at about 70mph.  Its unfortunate, but the components of the bearing are welded to the axle shaft.  I don’t know what it will cost, or even if I will bother to fix it at all.  I’m going to have to replace the axle stub and its welded to the axle.  There’s no simple fix. 

Anyhow, I didn’t really have much to say this week.  I made a promise to myself that I would write something in my blog at least once a week, so here it is.  An update of whats not going on in my boring life.  I’ve just been working hard every day, and after work I work some more at home in preparation for going to work the next day. 

A boring work filled life.

It seems to me that the emotions Fear and Joy may just be tied together mentally a little closer than you might think.  On a trip home from work last week I found myself stopped at a major street intersection.  A young woman was pushing a parapalegic child in a wheelchair across the street at the light.  While the sight itself was nothing spectacular there was for a brief moment a flash of something amazing.  This street has eight traffic lanes, four going in either direction.  As the woman started to get close to my car maybe three fourths of the way across, the light changed.  It was at this moment that the “flash” happened.

You’re probably thinking somebody got run over… but no.   Inside the back of all our minds is fear.  Fear is the driving power that turns the entire of living biengs to do what they do.  As the light changed I could see the fear awaken in the woman who was pushing the chair.  I’m not sure if it was fear that she would be run over, but it was self preservation.   If the child had been hurt it would have affected her so either way it was a fear awakened. 

At the same moment she began to attempt to run pushing the wheelchair.  Held back by the fear of running too fast and causing harm to her passenger.  Forced foreward by hear fear of getting hurt in traffic.  The woman was for a brief moment in quite a dilemma.  I could see it in her face and in her body language.

It was then that the child began to smile.  Most of the way across the street the child had been almost lifeless.  Doomed to a life of setting in a chair there isn’t much to really get a child like that excited.  I can’t say for sure if it was the excitement of running really fast in traffic or if it was the knowledge that her caretaker was freaking out, but something got that child smiling.  It was the kind of smile that only a true innocent can produce.  The sort of thing that stops you in your tracks just to gaze in awe of it. 

For one person this same impulse brought an almost crippling fear.  For another only mere inches away it brought about a joy that made her smile gleam.  Fear and Joy really arent that far apart.

A while back I had the idea to manufacture plastic resin garden gnomes.  I’m not much into manufacturing or into gnomes for that matter.  I happen to know there is a phobia related to garden gnomes, and I’m just an ass who wanted to exploit it.  My thought was to take a seemingly simple garden gnome and stuf it full of some clever electronics that make it …well downright evil…  I figure if the thing senses motion and doesn’t do anything most of the time, but occasionally it jumps at you or screams it might just kill a mailman.  Of course it would have to go back to not doing anything for at least an hour after it goes off so whomever sees it becomes convinced that it never really moved.  It would also need to be disguised well enough that upon investigation nobody can easily tell its mechanized. 

For those of you entrepreneurs out there looking for the next big gag, think about it.  (don’t forget to cut me in on the profits when you get rich)  You can forget where you got the idea when the heart attack lawsuits come up though.  Also, if you build it, you’ve just got to send me one of those resin garden gnomes.  Its a killer idea. (litterally)

It is funny how seems to be able to bring a whole crap load of things to my door all at once.  It is just cruel how karma pays me back for every good thing I try with something bad.  I’ve mentioned before on my blog about how my dad has had a recent heart attack.  Spending months in hospitals and now unable to work has left him with little remaining but bills.  I found out that he was selling his car(s) to make ends meet.  A logical thing given he can no longer drive and he is still months away from getting any kind of help from uncle sam. 

I decided I would buy one of his cars.  It was a win win situation I thought.  A former mechanic his cars are bound to be in great condition, I can help him out by giving a more than fair price for the car, and it was an excuse for me to get to see him.  The old man lives several hundred miles away so we don’t see each other often.  All seemed to be well.

My current car is nearing the end of its life and I needed a new car.  Since time for renewal was drawing near I thought I’ll get the new car, get it licensed and then sell the old one before its time to renew.  Everything seemed to be going perfectly.  It turns out I had to put rear brake shoes on the car I bought before I could get it licensed but aside from the cost it went ok. 

Now a week after I’ve made the switch I’m driving the new car on the highway and the brakes locked up tighter than crap.  I skidded off the road thinking I’ve got a flat tire.  Got out looked it over but there was no flat.  I thought I might have hit something that made me skid, so I got back in and drove.  The car drove ok the rest of the way home.  I was a bit worried but had conviced myself it was nothing.  Later that night I needed to run to the store.  I got about half mile from the house and they locked up again.  This time I could tell what it was because they didn’t unlock.  The car is unable to move and I can’t even tow it home myself because the wheels won’t turn at all.

Its really a minor problem thought it might be expensive to fix.  Its probably my fault because I did the brakes so I could get it passed safety inspection.  The thing is that its upsetting to know trying to do something good turned into a nasty expense and a couple of really stressful days. 

I had promised the old car to my younger sister and now I won’t be able to fufil that promise.  Since it passed emissions and safety with no problems, I have to get it licensed and keep driving it until I can get enough money together to fix the new car.  I’ve dipped into my credit for another 500 already just so I can keep going to work.  Had I already given her the car it could have been worse.  (again doing something nice would have come back to bite me in the ass)

Its nothing throwing a little more money at wont fix, just I’ve reached the point where there isn’t much money (or credit) left to throw.  Instead of looking for a better job, looking for a second job is probably on the menu.